Diane and Ken Fairben
Todd and Lisa Beamer
Katy Soulas addresses students at Rae Kushner Yeshiva High School on Sept. 11. Her husband died in the attack on the World Trade Center in 2001.
Photos by Johanna Ginsberg (read more here or here)
What all of these families share, but what I have not seen written about, is that they are all HEROES, every single day. I saw Diane quoted somewhere (or maybe she said it to me ;) ) as saying that heroes are ordinary people doing extraordinary things. Looking at those pictures, you could - perhaps - be excused for thinking you are looking at ordinary people, but they ARE heroes. On that morning eight years ago, each of the family members of the 9/11 heroes could have no idea of how the events that unfolded would change their lives. And since that day, Diane and Ken, Lisa Beamer, Katy Soulas and so many more, have daily proved that heroes do always walk among us. Having been priviledged to hear the hearts of Diane and Ken, for instance, I know that none of the families would have chosen to be forever linked to 9/11, but it is how they have chosen to live their lives, in honour of their loved ones, that shows such heroism. In the face of such enormous tragedy and loss, it would have been so easy for them to crawl into a hole and shut out the world, and who could judge them for that? Not I.
A friend of mine said recently that this era of heroism began on 9/11, and so it did, but there are many other heroes in this Global War on Terror. Daniel Pearl's parents are also heroes. Their hearts broke as they watched, with all of us, their son being murdered and that heinous act was broadcast around the world.
Judea and Ruth Pearl formed a foundation to promote those values which Daniel lived.
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Check that out here. Many of the family heroes have worked on a daily basis to be a voice for the values that their loved ones lived. To the mainstream media, the heroes we have lost are just statistics, or fodder for the 15 second soundbite on the evening news, but for these families - heroes every one - every day sees new opportunities to ensure that the emphasis is on how their loved ones LIVED. They are the keepers of the legacy, and the living embodiment of the difference their loved ones made in the world.
Since 9/11, many other families have lived heroic lives with courage, grace and such dignity. From where I sit, it is the families of our fallen heroes who deserve enormous credit as heroes. In England, families of the fallen are now being given the Elizabeth Cross, which I wrote about here. All the American 9/11 families were given the Medal of Valor by President George W Bush - the civilian equivalent of the military Medal of Honor. Yes, that is appropriate recognition, but merely a small token of the heroic lives the families must now live minute by minute, day by day, for the rest of their lives.
I have been blessed to meet and come to love more than a few family heroes. I have shared their lives here on occasion. Robert and the Stokely family spring to mind:
I have had the priviledge of meeting Robert, who humbles me by calling me his 'friend.' Robert daily proves to me what a hero he is, as he heads up the Mike Stokely Foundation here, which works to maintain the legacy that his beloved son Mike lived for. You really should go and read about Mike's life at that link. Mike's sister, Abbey, is also a hero every single day.
There are a whole lot more family heroes, of course, and you can meet just a few of them over at my place here.





In 2005, I was sitting under a tree at Shira, in Kapisa Province with Minister Stanakzia who was in charge of the Disarmament of Illegally Armed Groups (DIAG) program. I was struck by the fact that there were no women to be seen anywhere. I mentioned this to the Minister and he explained to me that although there were no women present, in Afghan culture they were quite powerful in the home. He said that the great interest in cell phones and the riots that had taken place because of a lack of phone cards was generated by Afghan wives pushing their husbands to keep up with the Jone’s, or in this case, the Barakzias. Being married, I knew exactly what he was talking about. In spite of the fact that I was a rough, tough army guy, I too seemed to make very few decisions at home. It seems gender dynamics were not that different even in the backwaters of Afghanistan.























